his low self-esteem is killing me inside because that means he’s a cock to protect himself and that also quite possibly means someone hurt him and that’s why he locked himself up
besides if you really look into it, series 3 is just people ordering him around (vaguely recalls making this gifset) and then when sherlock’s dying the truth comes to light: despite his act it does get to him, despite pretending he’s a dick he does care and it’s not only that he thinks people he considers friends think of him as an unworthy piece of trash: it’s that he thinks he’s an unworthy piece of trash. his mind palace is nothing else but his mind, his own thoughts. he thinks he’s just a machine to solve crimes (narrow it down, focus, solve it). it’s not just about low self-esteem, this shit is so much worse, because remember john’s voice in his head in teh? it wasn’t just unkind to him. it despised him. john, his best friend, a person who he loves deeply, whom he trusts and about whom he cares most in the world, in his own mind despises him. now imagine other people, the ones that sherlock doesn’t know that well.
and a heart-ripping extra: this happens mostly when john’s not around. in teh it’s when john’s not talking to him, in hlv: when it’s the first time sherlock sees john in a month. sherlock wasn’t exaggerating when he said john keeps him right. he literally does.